Monday, April 11, 2011

Letter to our daughter's birth mother... found on the internet

I found this letter on a site with adoption stories... it did not include the author's name so I want to give reference to the author and just inserted Tya's name... I think it is a beautifully written letter that so aptly describes the emotions we have adopting Tya and having her in our lives.

"First let me say how sorry I am that you had to go through the unimaginable pain of being separated from your daughter. Although I’ll never know the circumstances surrounding you placing her in an orphanage, it must have nearly crushed you. You are incredibly brave.

_____Tya Lihui___, that’s the name we’ve given her, is a beautiful little girl. She’s quick with a smile and a hug; there may be nothing better than feeling her little arms trying to reach around me with a squeeze.

We think of __Tya________ not just in terms of my wife and me, but also of you. We know that our little girl is also your little girl.

Our daughter is perfect in every way. She’s beautiful and smart. She loves to laugh. She eats everything in sight and gives us big open mouthed kisses with a delayed smooch.

I wish you could see how happy she is.

We talk of you often. Every morning, when she wakes, and every night when we put her down, we stop to say hello to China on the giant world map hanging in her room.

When I stop and watch __Tya______ asleep in her crib, content sucking her thumb, safe and warm, I think about you. I often wonder what you look like-- mostly when I try to imagine what
__Tya_____ will look like when she’s grown.
I know it’s unlikely, but I can’t help but wonder if we might have seen you when we were traveling in China.—I wonder if you were one of the young women who watched us drive by. Most people we met were full of smiles, but it was easy to tell that the sight of these babies on their way made some sad.

I wanted to jump out of our van and talk to people on the street to ask if someone might know our little girl’s birthmother. Maybe they knew her family, a sister or a cousin.

Maybe they could pass along a message to you. To let you know that our little girl will always love you. That we will support her and respect her and teach her everything we can about China. That we’ll teach her that a woman’s life is every bit as important as a man’s and how important it is to respect yourself.

Maybe they could also pass along our thanks to you. It may seem selfish for us to say thank you, but you made the ultimate sacrifice and we couldn’t imagine our lives if you hadn’t. You gave up everything when you gave up your daughter for adoption. You gave up a lifetime of hugs and smiles…the very least we can do is say thank you. Thank you for our little girl."

1 comment:

randy and cara said...

Wonderfully worded letter. The ending stood out for me, it feels so mixed in feelings to say "thank you". The words don't fully communicate what you feel, and it is mixed knowing the loss that is connected with adoption, but the joy of a forever family connected, the sacrifice the birth mom makes, the sacrifices the adoptive family makes, in the middle of it all is this precious little being who wants and needs to be loved and cared for and the whirlwind of bringing her into your heart and world. It is so hard to describe all the feelings, but the letter certainly is a good start!